Opening  By: George Carlin

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Release Date:	1984  (Stavro Arrgolus)
Lyrics By:	George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus)
Music By:	N/A (Stavro Arrgolus)
Produced By:	George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus)
Released By:	Eardrum ED 1001 (Stavro Arrgolus)
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The "truth in advertising" people strike again. This is, indeed, the opening sequence of the album. (Stavro Arrgolus)

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Song Lyrics:

Thank you. Thanks a lot. Thank you. Seem like you're ready for some fun? Well, y'know, they say blondes have more fun. Unfortunately, they also have more VD. Just kinda goes with the territory, y'know? I'll tell you something else. Between herpes and AIDS, I don't care if I never get laid again as long as I live. And I'm certainly not going to be humping any Haitian hemophiliac homosexual heroin addicts. I say, "No thanks. I'm goin' to the movies." Anybody with too many "h"s in their resumé...I pass, y'know? Tell you one good thing about herpes, though. Finally, the people from Brooklyn have a disease they can mispronounce. "Hoipes." That's the first one they've had like that since, uh, ..."Tuboiculosis". They gave me something here to, uh, bring to your attention. This is...Oh, I see...a message from the National Pancake Institute...and it says, "f**k waffles." Something you'll want to keep in mind when you drop into Denny's a little later on this evening. ©1984 George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus)

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Carlin on Campus

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