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Song Details
Duration: 3:24 
Release Date: 11/14/2007  (Jeff Reuben) 
Lyrics By: Jeff Reuben (Jeff Reuben) 
Music By: Jeff Reuben (Jeff Reuben) 
Produced By: Below Average Dave (Jeff Reuben) 
Released By:
Published By:
  • This song earned 10th place among Badave's non-B.A.D. parodies of the month in February 2008 (belowaveragedave)
  • This song earned 6th place on Badave's non-BAD parodies of the month in January 2008 (belowaveragedave)
  • This song features lead vocals by Jeff Reuben, and backing vocals/editing by Below Average Dave (belowaveragedave)
  • Song Lyrics:
    Do you have to scream
    When I ask you on a date?
    No mace it hurts my face
    Please don't stick your dog on me
    Cause I swear to you I won't always look this way
    Flabby man boobies
    And my ear hair's frizzy

    But I don't wanna be homely no more
    I don't wanna have to look like this
    When I walk up and knock on my date's door
    Don't wanna get shoved into the bushes
    I don't wanna be ugly no more
    I don't wanna have a face like this
    So before you laugh and beat me up know for sure
    I don't want to be homely anymore

    Can't control my pee, so I have to wear Depends
    Chicks, they just can't see, past my explosive flatulence
    And my nails are green, missing half my teeth
    Girl, you don't really like my farmer's tan
    Scratch my groin with my hand; got that itchy rash again
    Makes me want to cry

    I don't wanna be homely no more
    I don't wanna wear this pelvic brace
    When I see a hot chick and I try to score
    I always get the door slammed in my face
    I don't wanna repulse you no more
    You yell "Hi Gene!" but my name is Jace
    So when you think you're gonna dump me know for sure
    I'm not gonna be homely anymore

    What if I work out for you, what if I would brush my teeth
    What if I would wax my unibrow and pick my nosehairs clean
    If I stop attracting flies, bathe with regularity
    Shave my back, clean out my ear goo, lose the pork-chop, mullet hairdo

    I don't wanna be homely no more
    I don't wanna face all full of zits
    Gonna buy deodorant at the drug store
    So you don't have to smell my sweaty pits
    I'm not gonna have stank breath no more
    I decided to invest in mints
    So when I blow a kiss you won't faint on the floor
    I don't want to be homely anymore

    I don't wanna be homely anymore...

    Won't find my dates at the dog pound anymore...

    Won't ask grandma to prom night anymore...
    (Jeff Reuben)
    Current Rating 9.9 (2 votes)
    Played on 2 shows:
    04-12-08, #MMCZ_08-1504-11-08, #MMDT20_08-14
    = Show you can listen to online
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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