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Song Details
Homely No More 
By: Jeff Reuben
Play Song (Creative Commons License):
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Duration: 3:23 (belowaveragedave) 
Release Date: 11/15/2007  (belowaveragedave) 
Lyrics By: Jeff Reuben (belowaveragedave) 
Music By: Jeff Reuben (Vocals) (belowaveragedave) 
Produced By: Jeff Reuben and Below Average Dave (belowaveragedave) 
Released By: Jeff Reuben (belowaveragedave) 
Published By: Jeff Reuben (belowaveragedave) 
Licensing: CC (belowaveragedave) 
  • Primary Singer: Jeff Reuben, Supporting Vocals: Below Average Dave (belowaveragedave)
  • Parody of "Lonely No More" by Rob Thomas (belowaveragedave)
  • Song Lyrics:
    Do you have to scream
    When I ask you on a date?
    No mace it hurts my face
    Please don't stick your dog on me
    Cause I swear to you I won't always look this way
    Flabby man boobies
    And my ear hair's frizzy

    But I don't wanna be homely no more
    I don't wanna have to look like this
    When I walk up and knock on my date's door
    Don't wanna get shoved into the bushes
    I don't wanna be ugly no more
    I don't wanna have a face like this
    So before you laugh and beat me up know for sure
    I don't want to be homely anymore

    Can't control my pee, so I have to wear Depends
    Chicks, they just can't see, past my excessive flatulence
    And my nails are green, missing half my teeth
    Girl, you don't really like my farmer's tan
    Scratch my groin with my hand; got that itchy rash again
    Makes me want to cry

    I don't wanna be homely no more
    I don't wanna wear this pelvic brace
    When I see a hot chick and I try to score
    I always get the door slammed in my face
    I don't wanna repulse you no more
    You yell "Hi Gene!" but my name is Jace
    So when you think you're gonna dump me know for sure
    I'm not gonna be homely anymore

    What if I work out for you, what if I would brush my teeth
    What if I would wax my unibrow and pick my nosehairs clean
    If I stop attracting flies, bathe with regularity
    Shave my back, clean out my ear goo, lose the pork-chop, mullet hairdo

    I don't wanna be homely no more
    I don't wanna face all full of zits
    Gonna buy deodorant at the drug store
    So you don't have to smell my sweaty pits
    I'm not gonna have stank breath no more
    I decided to invest in mints
    So when I blow a kiss you won't faint on the floor
    I don't want to be homely anymore

    I don't wanna be homely anymore...

    Won't find my dates at the dog pound anymore...

    Won't ask grandma to prom night anymore...
    Current Rating 0.0 (0 votes)
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