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Song Details
Duration: 2:46 (belowaveragedave) 
Release Date: 1/16/2009  (belowaveragedave) 
Lyrics By: Gianni Parmesiani (belowaveragedave) 
Music By: Below Average Dave (belowaveragedave) 
Produced By: Below Average Dave (belowaveragedave) 
Released By: (belowaveragedave) 
Published By: (belowaveragedave) 
Licensing: CC 
  • Parody of "One Week" by The Barenaked Ladies (belowaveragedave)
  • Song Lyrics:
    It's been nine months since we did the deed
    We had sex-you've been carrying my seed
    Eight months since you've had to bleed
    Warnings on the box that we both just did not heed
    Six months since we told your folks
    I'm really getting tired of your old man's bad jokes
    Just today you felt like you peed
    But now your water's broken; it is your time indeed

    Grab your bag and keep your head clear
    And I'll get the car, dear
    You'll think you're riding with dale earnhardt
    I'll slam pedal to metal and get you to the hospital
    Now don't you panic
    Cause I know the fastest route by heart
    We're gonna make it, don't you worry
    Hon, don't you trust me
    Should be no traffic on the road
    Oh, no, hon, got to get gas
    Breathe, those pains will pass
    You look like you're about to explode
    Gonna have to speed and pay no heed
    Instead of follow gonna lead
    Feel like an outlaw kinda like eastwood's josie wales
    I can't find third gear; should be right here
    Hon, do you think that you could steer?
    Curse these eighteen wheelers;
    Move too slow just like big snails

    Hon, can I help it if I thought the cop here would get it
    Once I explained I thought he'd forget it
    He's one of those guys who can't have a family
    Can't understand why he's mean
    Hon, we're here now
    I'll get an orderly to help you to a wheelchair
    I'll park the suv and be right behind you

    It's been ten hours since the doctor came
    Went to look for him but didn't know his name
    Three hours since you asked for drugs
    Sure seems the staff is moving slow as slugs
    Been sixteen hours since I've had some food
    I asked for a menu and I was treated real rude
    Rest easy, hon, I'll be right back
    You see I'm hungry and I need to go find a snack

    Kentucky fried, hon, the popcorn chicken
    You want a handful? hey, they're finger lickin
    Don't be silly-doesn't matter-already fatter
    Let go; throw caution right to the wind
    Want burger king, hon? how 'bout a whopper?
    A smoothie topper
    From wendy's? really like the chocolate ones
    Or from mcdonald's? how 'bout french fries?
    Ok, you don't want fries
    And you'll kill me if I don't find a nurse
    Gonna get your doctor now, hon,
    Gonna make sure he's on the run, so don't curse
    Loudly cause it's kinda getting me a bit scared
    Gotta get her calm; she's like her mom
    Both start naming me and blaming me for all wrongs
    I've now done all that I've dared

    Hon, I can't help it;
    Think you look funny when you're in pain
    Trying hard not to scream and go insane
    You're the kinda gal who needs and epidural
    Don't know what I mean? so sue me
    I have a tendancy to laugh when I get nervous
    I have a bad habit of fainting at blood

    It's been one hour since you birthed our son
    Changed your first thoughts that he'd be our only one
    Some time 'til he's potty trained
    By the time he's done with college
    Our accounts will be drained
    Two days 'til we bring him home
    Just realized we've both grown up-isn't that insane?
    It's gas or he just smiled at me
    Who knew that having kids would make us both so happy
    He just pooped in his pants; time to change his nappy
    When he grows up I'd like him to call me "pappy"
    He seems feisty so let's call him "scrappy"
    Current Rating 0.0 (0 votes)
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