Sign-up FREE! View Cart Login
0 Online
Song Details
Duration: 4:36 (oddaustin) 
Release Date: 5/24/2009  (DJ Particle) 
Lyrics By: Verse 1 and 3: Austin Aeschliman. Verse 2: Tom Rockwell (oddaustin) 
Music By: Austin Aeschliman (oddaustin) 
Produced By: Austin Aeschliman (oddaustin) 
Released By: Talonian Productions (DJ Particle) 
Published By: Nerd Speak Productions (oddaustin) 
  • #9 for the year of 2009 on the DT20 (oddaustin)
  • #14 on The Dr. Demento Show's Funny 25 for 2009. (oddaustin)
  • #3 on The Dr. Demento Show's Top 10 for November 2009. (oddaustin)
  • #1 on the 7/3/09 episode of the DT20 (oddaustin)
  • #6 on The Dr. Demento Show's Top 10 for May 2009. (oddaustin)
  • Song Lyrics:
    Yo it's your boy Drac, and we about to bust some mad rhymes up in here tonight. We got my main home bros up in here. So guys, what's a vampires favorite snakcs? (What?) Adams apples and neck-terines!

    Ya know I can only come out at night
    Cause I can't come in contact with sun light
    If I touch a bible then it burns my hands
    If I eat your garlic then I'll get a rash
    All of my dates are a total wreck
    Cause the girls always say I'm a pain in the neck
    You see she'll order a cosmopolitan
    While I'll want a glass of AB positive
    They say I look pale but it's hard to tell
    Cause when I looked in a mirror, didn't see myself
    I got slicked back hair and pointy teeth
    I look normal only on Halloween
    I'm chillin' with the villains every Friday night
    With my main dawg mummy, and Frankenstein
    I got a phobia for wooden stakes
    And last week I just bought a blood bank
    You can make your donation
    Then later I'll be tastin'
    Cause there's no point in wastin'
    All this fine crimson drink
    They all try to fight me
    Even though they said bite me
    I know I'm kinda frightening
    But come on, who's the tease

    Yo, Drac that was good (Yeah yo!), but I got one better. What do you get when your cross a snow man with a vampire? (What?, I have no idea). Frostbite!

    I only come out at night, lookin' to score a quick bite
    In fact you might say at night I could have a killer appetite
    I frighten all of my victims 'cause I'm a broody scary dude
    And then I chase 'em all over the place because I just love the fast food
    I'm sharpening up my fangs with an emery board
    A secret door that's under my floor is where all the bodies are stored
    I keep a couple alive, chained up in the back
    For when I first get up in the morning and I need a midnight snack
    I can't get at anyone unless they invite me into their house and
    You won't catch me out on the beach without SPF 4000
    But don't be thinkin' that I'm weak just 'cause I'm a geek that comes out at night
    'Cause I can destroy those wussy vamps that you saw in Twilight
    Sometimes I'll have Count Chocula for breakfast
    And I prefer my steaks rare instead of sticking out of my chest
    I had fair skin when I was a human and now I couldn't be paler
    Still and asthmatic nerd, so call me Vlad The Inhaler
    You say you think that I'm weak? well bite your tongue
    No wait, allow me, and you'll be forever young
    Your hair will never go gray, you'll live forever and a day
    Vampire's suck, but in a very good way

    Alright, I got one. Why did the vampire give his girlfriend a blood test? (Why?) She wanted to see if she was his type.

    You wanna hang with the gang with the fangs, yo?
    Then give me that neck, one bite your in
    Yo, you wanna roll, ya know I ain't got a soul
    And I'm not that old, I'm 900 and 10
    Can only come in your house if you invite
    Half any hour later you'll say please don't bite me
    Live in a castle in Transylvania
    I'll take the veins, while the zombies de-brain ya
    Got a king sized coffin big enough for two
    That all my girl minions want to get into
    If I see the sun then I'll be meltin'
    And I ya know I gotta diss that foo Van Helsin'
    Got my homies in da hood, and we're rather well fed
    Some call us ghouls, we prefer the undead
    Cause people are afraid of me in my town
    Some call me the devil, most call me the count
    They try to flee, those chicks don't see
    That when I bite them there mine for eternity
    They're dressed in black cause of my attack
    Cause once you go Drac you don't go back

    Oh! (That's a good one). Yo, and don't you forget it, I'm always gonna be the illenest villain in all of Transylvania. Word up G, you wanna mess with me? You'll end up in a body bag... and then right out of a body bag cause that's just how the process works.

    So Drac, what do you get when you cross a cow with a vampire? (What? It's a mystery) A hamburger that bites back. Actually that one was kinda lame.

    Alright we outta here. A shout out to all my homies, Frankenstein, Wolfman, Zombies, you know you was always my favorite, peace.

    Current Rating 7.4 (9 votes)
    Song Images:
    Messages about the song: "Vampires Suck"
    Enter a New Message
    • Show/Hide Border
    • Table Properties
    • Delete Table
    • Row
      • Insert Row Above
      • Insert Row Below
      • Delete Row
    • Column
      • Insert Column to the Left
      • Insert Column to the Right
      • Delete Column
    • Cell
      • Merge Cells Horizontally
      • Merge Cells Vertically
      • Split Cell Horizontally
      • Split Cell Vertically
      • Delete Cell
    • Cell Properties
    • Table Properties
    • Properties...
    • Image Map Editor
    • Properties...
    • OpenLink
    • Remove Link
    • Insert Select
    • Cut
    • Copy
    • Paste
    • Paste from Word
    • Paste Plain Text
    • Paste As Html
    • Paste Html


    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

    Home - News - Forums - Features - Shows - Songs - Artists - About - Friends - Blogs - Search - Help
    © 2004-2023 Mad Music Productions, LLC, all rights reserved. Portions are Copyright by their respective copyright holders.