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| Facts: |
| Parody of 'instructional recordings', a fad from the '60s & '70s that brought the self-help concept, a fad in itself that persists to this day, off of the bookshelf and onto vinyl records. (Stavro Arrgolus) |
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| Song Lyrics: |
FIRST ANNOUNCER (Eric Idle):
Are you embarrassed easily? I am. But it's nothing to worry about; it's all part of growing up and being British. This course is designed to eliminate embarrassment, to enable you to talk freely about rude objects, to look at awkward and embarrassing things and to point at people's privates. The course has been designed by Dr. Karl Gruber of the Institute of Going a Bit Red in Helsinki. Here, he himself introduces the course.
DR KARL GRUBER (Michael Palin):
Hello! My name is Karl Gruber. Thank you for inviting me into your home. My method is the result of six years work here at the institute in which subjects were exposed to simulated embarrassment predicaments over a prolonged fart - PERIOD! - TIME!! [farts] Sorry.
Lesson one: Words. Do any of these words [farts] embarrass you?
ASSISTANT (John Cleese):
"Shoe" ..... "Megaphone" ..... "Grunties".
DR KARL GRUBER:
Now let's go on to something ruder.
ASSISTANT:
"Wankel Rotary Engine".
DR KARL GRUBER:
Now lesson two: noises. Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "****", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds. Listen to this...if you can:
[embarrassing noise]
DR KARL GRUBER:
How do you rate your embarrassment response? (a) High (b) Hello (c) Good evening.
If (c), you are loosening up and will soon be ready for this:
[embarrassing noise]
DR KARL GRUBER:
Well, how did you rate? (a) Embarrassed (b) Hello (c) Good evening.
Now lesson three, in which these rude and dirty sounds are combined with smutty visual suggestions into an embarrassment simulation situation [fart]. You are the waiter at this table:
LADY IN RESTAURANT: (Carol Cleveland)
[Charles, I've got something to show you ..... [sound of top unzipping and **** flopping onto table]
DR KARL GRUBER:
Score (5) for no embarrassment, score (3) for slight embarrassment, and (1) for .....
SECOND ANNOUNCER (Graham Chapman):
Good evening. A Book at Bedtime.
Alan Hutchinson reads another extract from a series of bedside books.
ALAN HUTCHINSON (John Cleese):
Number 32. The lady lies with her left leg planted firmly on the ground and the right hand waiting. The gentleman with the melon switches on the battery and places his left thigh on the edge of the swivel table, keeping the neck of the...
(fades out to music) (Stavro Arrgolus) |
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