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Song Details
I Am a Very Lazy Useless Selfish Individual 
By: Below Average Dave
Play Song (Creative Commons License):
Click Here for a Free Download of this song at 128k
Duration: 2:52 
Release Date: 8/11/2009  (belowaveragedave) 
Lyrics By: Below Average Dave (belowaveragedave) 
Music By: Vocals by Below Average Dave (belowaveragedave) 
Produced By: Below Average Dave (belowaveragedave) 
Released By: badave.com (belowaveragedave) 
Published By: badave.com (belowaveragedave) 
Licensing: CC 
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Facts:
  • Parody of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General" from Pirates of the Penezance by Gilbert & Sullivan (belowaveragedave)
  • Song Lyrics:
    I am a very lazy useless selfish individual
    I'm lacking knowledge hooked on cable, Nintendo, and shopping malls
    I have many excuses, and I use them quite rhetorical
    From Fluffy died to having flus, I use them metaphorical

    My friends have caught me naked, too, they say my dirt's fanatical
    I clean up on occasion, but still my smell's despicable
    I'm singing way too quickly as I'm dealing with a lot of booze
    When I wake up too early I reach over and I hit the snooze

    **Family**
    When he wakes up too early he'll reach over and hit the snooze
    When he wakes up too early he'll reach over and hit the snooze
    When he wakes up too early he'll reach over and hit the flippin' snooze
    **End Family**

    I don't take any showers or necessary wash and brush
    I don't know anything about politics or calculus
    In fact, in matters variable, self-control, and logical
    I am a very lazy useless selfish individual

    **Family**
    In fact, in matters variable, self-control, and logical
    He is a very lazy useless selfish individual
    **End Family**

    I flunked in ancient history, because I faked the chicken pox
    I only hear a mouse click, cause I use it to buy drugs like rox
    I don't get too excited at a visit a distant cuz'
    In fact I'd have to clean up all of the fleas and bury my puss

    Prob'bly get a million visits monthly from the town police
    They say the odor's reeking and it has been for 92 weeks
    But I can be a deuce and then not answer the door no more
    And stay inside the room of which internal rats and mice adore

    **Family**
    And stay inside the room of which internal rats and mice adore
    And stay inside the room of which internal rats and mice adore
    And stay inside the room of which internal rats and mice sadly adore
    **End Family**

    Now those who think I'm smart have quite surely been misinformed
    I'm tall and skinny 'cause I do not ever clean my flippin' dorm
    In frank, in matters satirical, practical, and critical
    I am a very lazy useless selfish individual

    **Family**
    In frank, in matters satirical, practical, and critical
    He is a very lazy useless selfish individual
    **End Family**

    Now then, I do not see the point in marathons or precision
    When all I need's in front of me on shows on the Television
    When I can beat you any day in virtual intense combat
    And yes I know it's nasty that I look like an old stinky rat

    When my place looks like it's been hit and is all full of debris
    I'll dress it up with antics like some Air Wick spray and potpourri
    My sloth is quite unflattering and leaves me drained of energy
    Some say I am quite Lazy-useless and not too many disagree

    **Family**
    Some say he is quite Lazy-useless and not too many disagree
    Some say he is quite Lazy-useless and not too many disagree
    Some say he is quite Lazy-useless and not too many really disagree
    **End Family**

    Yes I really do acknowledge, that my room is quite a bit scary
    Perhaps I should be taken off to a penitentiary
    Because in matters societal, empirical, and financial
    I am a very lazy useless selfish individual

    **Family**
    Because in matters societal, empirical, and financial
    He is a very lazy useless selfish individual
    **End Family**
    (belowaveragedave)
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