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| Song Lyrics: |
Verse 1]
Pulled up to the Chevron at quarter past three
My stomach was growling, my wallet empty
Saw that California roll under fluorescent lights
Been sitting there since Tuesday, but the price was right
The cashier said "buddy, are you really sure?"
I said "I've made worse decisions, of that I'm sure"
Expiration date was smudged, kinda hard to read
But adventure calls and my stomach needs to feed
[Chorus]
Oh, gas station sushi, you were only $3.99
Oh, gas station sushi, seemed like a deal at the time
Now I'm texting my boss that I won't be in
'Cause I took a chance on gas station sushi again
(Again! Again! Why do I do this again?!)
[Verse 2]
The wasabi packet was older than my car
The ginger looked like it traveled from afar
Rice was crunchy, fish was warm
Should've known this was the perfect storm
My friend said "Dude, just get a Slim Jim"
But I laughed it off, thought I'd show him
Now he's sending thoughts and prayers via text
While I'm Googling "stomach pump, what happens next?"
[Chorus]
Oh, gas station sushi, rotating since '09
Oh, gas station sushi, that salmon wasn't fine
My intestines sound like dubstep, what have I done?
Gas station sushi: zero. My dignity: none
(It's gone! It's gone! Everything is gone!)
[Bridge]
They say YOLO, carpe diem, live your life
But they never had mystery tuna that glows at night
The guy at urgent care just shook his head
He's seen me here three times, knows me by name, enough said
[Verse 3]
Now I'm writing my will at 24 years old
Leaving my Spotify password, that's good as gold
If you're at the pump and feeling kinda brave
Remember my story, remember I gave
This PSA from the bathroom floor
Don't be a hero at the convenience store
When sushi's next to motor oil and beer
That's God's way of saying "don't eat here"
[Final Chorus]
Oh, gas station sushi, you beautiful mistake
Oh, gas station sushi, more than my stomach could take
I see the light, is this the great beyond?
Nope—motion sensor, and movement set it on
(So bright! So bright! Automatic lights so bright!)
[Outro]
So heed my warning, learn from my plight
Don't trust fish that's been under heat lamp light
Gas station sushi - never again...
(Until next Tuesday when I'm broke and hungry, amen) (SillieNelson) |
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