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Song Details
Duration: 2:16 (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Release Date: 1999  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: Trey Parker/Marc Shaiman (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: Trey Parker/Marc Shaiman (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Parker/Stone/Howell (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Columbia (Sony) (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: Hilarity Music, Inc./Winding Brook Way Music (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing:
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Facts:
  • Mr. Hankey's album cover pose is a parody of Mel Torme's Christmas Songs album (see additional image). (Tim P. Ryan)
  • Song Lyrics:
    We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose
    and we all know Frosty who's made out of snow
    But all of these stories seem kind of.....gay
    'Cause we all know who brightens up our holiday

    Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
    Small and brown, he comes from you
    Sit on the toilet, here he comes
    Squeezing 'tween your festive buns
    A present from down below
    Spreading joy with a howdy ho
    He's seen the love inside of you
    'cause he's a piece of poo

    Sometimes he's nutty
    Sometimes he's corny
    He can be brown or greenish-brown
    But if you eat fiber on Christmas Eve
    he might come to your town

    Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
    He loves me, I love you
    Therefore, vicariously, he loves you
    "I can make a Mr. Hankey, too!" (PPPT!)

    Cartman: "Well, Kyle, where is he?"
    Kyle: "He's comin'!"
    Stan: "C'mon, dude, push!"
    Kyle: "I'm trying!"
    Cartman: "Oh, wait, wait, I can see his head!"
    Kyle: "HERE HE COMES!
    (SPLORT!)
    Mr. Hankey: HOWDY HO!!!

    I'm Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
    Season's Greetings to all of you
    Let's sing songs and dance and play
    now before I melt away
    Here's a game I like to play
    Stick me in your mouth and try to say
    "Howdy ho ho, yum, yum, yum"
    Christmas time has come!

    Sometimes he's runny
    Sometimes he's firm
    Sometimes he's practically water
    Sometimes he hangs off the end of your ass
    and won't fall in the toilet
    'cause he's just clinging to your sphincter
    and he won't drop off
    and so you shake your ass around
    try to get it to drop in the toilet
    and finally he does...
    (pause)

    Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
    When Christmas leaves, he must leave too
    Flush him down, but he's never gone
    His smell and his spirit lingers on!

    Howdy ho!

    ©1997 Hilarity Music, Inc. BMI/Winding Brook Way Music ASCAP
    (Stavro Arrgolus)
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    Current Rating 9.6 (2 votes)
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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