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Song Details
Duration: 5:43 
Release Date: 1976  (peterpuck9) 
Lyrics By: Tom Waits (peterpuck9) 
Music By: Tom Waits (peterpuck9) 
Produced By: Bones Howe (peterpuck9) 
Released By: Elektra/Asylum Records (peterpuck9) 
Published By:
  • On the album (CD) Small Change (peterpuck9)
  • Song Lyrics:
    Step right up
    step right up
    step right up
    Everyone's a winner, bargains galore
    That's right, you too can be the proud owner
    Of the quality goes in before the name goes on
    One-tenth of a dollar
    One-tenth of a dollar
    We got service after sales
    You need perfume? We got perfume
    How 'bout an engagement ring?
    Something for the little lady
    Something for the little lady
    Something for the little lady, hmm
    Three for a dollar
    We got a year-end clearance, we got a white sale
    And smoke-damaged furniture
    You can drive it away today
    Act now, act now
    and receive as our gift, our gift to you
    They come in all colors, one size fits all
    No muss, no fuss, no spills
    You're tired of kitchen drudgery
    Everything must go
    going out of business
    going out of business
    Going out of business sale
    Fifty percent off original retail price
    Skip the middle man
    Don't settle for less
    How do we do it?
    How do we do it?
    Volume, volume, turn up the volume
    Now you've heard it advertised, don't hesitate
    Don't be caught with your drawers down
    Don't be caught with your drawers down
    You can step right up, step right up

    That's right, it fillets, it chops
    It dices, slices, never stops
    lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn
    And it mows your lawn
    and it picks up the kids from school
    It gets rid of unwanted facial hair
    it gets rid of embarrassing age spots
    It delivers a pizza
    and it lengthens, and it strengthens
    And it finds that slipper that's been at large
    under the chaise lounge for several weeks
    And it plays a mean Rhythm Master
    It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
    And it's only a dollar, step right up
    it's only a dollar, step right up

    'Cause it forges your signature.
    If not completely satisfied
    mail back unused portion of product
    For complete refund of price of purchase
    Step right up
    Please allow thirty days for delivery
    Don't be fooled by cheap imitations
    You can live in it, live in it
    laugh in it, love in it
    Swim in it, sleep in it
    Live in it, swim in it
    laugh in it, love in it
    Removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets
    that's right
    And it entertains visiting relatives
    it turns a sandwich into a banquet
    Tired of being the life of the party?
    Change your shorts
    change your life
    change your life
    Change into a nine-year-old Hindu boy
    get rid of your wife
    And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax
    Doubles on sax, you can jump back, Jack
    see you later alligator
    See you later alligator
    And it steals your car
    It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking
    It's a friend, and it's a companion
    And it's the only product you will ever need
    Follow these easy assembly instructions
    it never needs ironing
    Well, it takes weights off hips, bust
    thighs, chin, midriff
    Gives you dandruff, and it finds you a job
    it is a job
    And it strips the phone company free
    take ten for five exchange
    And it gives you denture breath
    And you know it's a friend, and it's a companion
    And it gets rid of your traveler's checks
    It's new, it's improved, it's old-fashioned
    Well, it takes care of business
    never needs winding
    Never needs winding
    never needs winding
    Gets rid of blackheads, the heartbreak of psoriasis
    Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak, buddy
    C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
    'Cause it's effective, it's defective
    it creates household odors
    It disinfects, it sanitizes for your protection
    It gives you an erection
    it wins the election
    Why put up with painful corns any longer?
    It's a redeemable coupon, no obligation
    no salesman will visit your home
    We got a jackpot, jackpot, jackpot
    prizes, prizes, prizes, all work guaranteed
    How do we do it
    how do we do it
    how do we do it
    how do we do it
    We need your business
    we're going out of business
    We'll give you the business
    Get on the business
    end of our going-out-of-business sale
    Receive our free brochure, free brochure
    Read the easy-to-follow assembly instructions
    batteries not included
    Send before midnight tomorrow, terms available
    Step right up
    step right up
    step right up
    You got it buddy: the large print giveth
    and the small print taketh away
    Step right up
    you can step right up
    you can step right up
    C'mon step right up
    (Get away from me kid, you bother me...)
    Step right up, step right up, step right up
    c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
    Step right up
    you can step right up
    c'mon and step right up
    C'mon and step right up

    Current Rating 10.0 (3 votes)
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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