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Blue Man In A Red State


Copyright © 2005 by Charles Bright and Tom Perri



Blue man, blue man, blue man in a red state
Blue man, blue man in a red state

(SPOKEN)—This here town’s a hole. I take that back. A hole’s surrounded by something, and there ain’t nothing around here. It’s the land that time forgot, a 50-year old fantasy that was nothing but a fantasy 50 years ago. Ain’t none of it true. But true believers never give up. They die hard and they live here. Who am I to pass such judgment upon my fellow citizenship, I hear you ask? Why, I’m the gibberish king of the non sequitur, the absurdist mind in a corporate box, the happy existentialist that can’t relate, I’m a Blue Man In A Red State.

Blue man, blue man, blue man in a red state
Blue man, blue man in a red state

(SPOKEN)—So here I am, surrounded by conservative, compassionate Christians—I didn’t know those three words started with a K—So indulge me while I pontificate. All those cats know I’m a—

Blue man, blue man, blue man in a red state
Blue man, blue man in a red state

(SPOKEN)—Down in the center of town is a mockup of the Three Wise Men playing three card monte. They’d shortchange the baby Jesus, for Christ’s sake. The snake handlers hang out at a topless bar called The Bottomless Pit. They got a video poker game that doubles as a voting machine on Election Day. And as you all know, the house always wins. I, myself, once considered becoming born again, but to tell you the truth, I got it right the first time. So. I’ll just head on back to my lil’ ol’ shack that I sublet from a preacher who’s leading the league in blown saves. Ain’t that great? I’m just a…

Blue man, blue man, blue man in a red state
Blue man, blue man in a red state


(SPOKEN)--Lemme tell ya about our duly elected out-of-body politic—A bunch of neo-Nietzsche gutless gurus. I’ve stepped in puddles deeper than this crowd. Whenever they speak you can feeeeel the chill in the air. So cold it’ll make you want to pull the wool over your own eyes, but you don’t have to—they’ve already done it for you. Here’s how—Valueless moral values, non-issue issues, and matters that just don’t matter. It’s getting harder and harder to tell the poor huddled masses apart these days when we’re all working for the same rate—I’m just a Blue Man In A Red State.

Blue man, blue man, blue man in a red state
Blue man, blue man in a red state
(Captain Wayne)
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