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| Song Lyrics: |
(album version)
Spoken:
Folks....I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
about me, about you
about the way our American hearts beat way down
in the bottom of our chests
About the special feeling we get in the
cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles
Maybe in the sub-cockle area
Maybe in the liver
Maybe in the kidneys
Maybe even in the colon, we don't know
Sung:
I'm just a regular Joe
with a regular job
I'm your average white suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I've got an average house
with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough
to keep a man like me interested
(oh no) no way (uh-uh)
No, I've got to go out and have fun
at someone else's expense
(oh yeah) yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
while people behind me are going insane
I'm an a*****e (he's an a*****e, what an a*****e)
I'm an a*****e (he's an a*****e, such an a*****e)
I use public toilets
and I p**s on the seat
I walk around in the summertime saying,
"How about this heat?"
I'm an a*****e (he's an a*****e, what an a*****e)
I'm an a*****e (he's the world's biggest a*****e)
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
while handicapped people make handicapped faces
I'm an a*****e (he's an a*****e, what an a*****e)
I'm an a*****e (he's a real f***ing a*****e)
Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong
..........NAHHHHHHHH!
I'm an a*****e (he's an a*****e, what an a*****e)
I'm an a*****e (he's the world's biggest a*****e)
Spoken:
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink with whaleskin hubcaps
and all leather cow interior
and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights
Yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby
at 115 mph getting one mile per gallon
sucking down quarter pounder cheeseburgers
from McDonalds in the old-fashioned
non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
and when I'm done sucking down those
greaseball burgers, I'm gonna wipe my mouth
with the American flag and then I'm gonna
toss the styrofoam container right out the side
and there ain't a goddamned thing
anyone can do about it, you know why?
Because we've got the bombs, that's why
Two words: Nuclear f***ing weapons, OKAY?
Russia, Germany, Romania- they can have all
the democracy they want, they can have a big
democracy cake. Walk right through the middle of
Tiananmen square and it won't make a lick of
difference because we've got the bombs, okay?
John Wayne's not dead- he's frozen. And as soon
as we find the cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw
out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well, multiply that by fifteen million times. That's
how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get
the Duke and John Cassavetes
(hey)
and Lee Marvin
(hey)
And a case of whiskey and drive down to Texas...
(Hey, you know you really are an a*****e)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal
All the time I thought I was the a*****e and it was
really him. What an a*****e!
Sung:
I'm an a*****e (he's an a*****e, what an a*****e)
I'm an a*****e (he's the world's biggest a*****e)
A-S-S H-O-L-E Everybody! A-S-S-H-O-L-E
Barking:
Arf arf arf arf arf arf arf
fhng chng tum a fung tum a fling chum
oooooh ooooooh
Spoken:
I'm an a*****e, and I'm proud of it.
©1993 Mullet Head Music/Slap Meat Music
(Stavro Arrgolus) |
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Current Rating
10.0
(2 votes)
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| Played on 18 shows: |
 | 02-19-17, #MMS-212 |  | 09-13-09, #09-37 |
| 09-17-16, #16-38 | | 02-29-08, #MMDT20_08-08 |
| 08-13-16, #16-33 | | 02-22-08, #MMDT20_08-07 |
| 02-07-16, #MMS-194 | | 07-29-06, #ROTP_101 |
| 02-23-13, #13-08 | | 04-15-06, #ROTP_086 |
| 05-28-11, #11-22 | | 04-10-06, #WB-01 |
| 03-05-11, #MMS-144 | | 12-31-05, #ROTP_071 |
| 04-11-10, #10-15 | | 11-19-05, #ROTP_065 |
| 12-26-09, #ROTP_279 | | 06-12-05, #MM-12 |
| = Show you can listen to online |
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Message:
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended
to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before
they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted
under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The
ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.
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