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Song Details
Duration: 6:42 
Release Date: 1974  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: N/A (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Monte Kay/Jack Lewis/George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Little David LD 3003 (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: Dead Sea Music Inc. (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: BMI (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Keywords: GOD, STONED 
Reviews:
Facts:
Song Lyrics:
I was uh, an Irish Catholic and I had to quit the Catholics because they were after my soul. It was as simple as that and they had announced it to me. "It's all we want...your mortal soul" And I had heard about my soul. Most people have heard about a soul before they heard about 'Catholic'. I'd heard about soul. And I'd been told almost every time they mentioned soul they were saying "Save it! Save your soul! Save your soul!" And the Catholics were after mine. I said, "No good, man! I'm savin' my soul! I'll shine it up; use it on the weekends."

See, the whole god thing got outta hand. We take some..(silly voice): We humans, hah? When are we gonna have a meeting? When are we humans gonna have a meeting? We got outta hand again. We took the god thing and ran off the goddamn end of the Earth with it. We got this god notion. It's a good notion; it's probably a right notion. I can't talk about the use of a specific word you use for that notion, but...generally speaking we have been rather self centered about our attitudes of God. In fact we created him...in our own image and likeness. Every picture I ever see; every statue's a humanoid. With the exception of the Holy Ghost of course (flapping sounds). He's out on weeknights...making home calls, but the other guys- were humans!

Yes, very self centered about the whole thing, in fact, when we put a statue of Jesus on our dashboard, instead of having Him watch the traffic which He should be doing, we got Him watching us drive! "Watch this, Jesus- left turn! Wheeow! (sings) Drivin' for Jesus, drivin for Jesus, makin' all the lights!"

God was a cool guy. That's what we forget. That's all we ever wanted to be, most of us. We might of said it different ways, but at the end of your prayers, you say, "Please, God. Let me be a cool guy." And God w..is a cool guy. In fact, so cool that he's not the guy we think. The guy we think of as God, hey, we're humans walkin' around. How are we gonna know about God? A guy will tellya, we are so bold, we will describe God to you. (grungy New York accent:) "Oh, I'll tellya about God, sheesh, yeah. First of all, yer God is all powerful. He can do anything He wants. He can throw a boat right over a hedge. Power He got. Second of all, He knows everything. He knows what you think. He knows what you thought. He knows what you think you thought, what you think you're gonna think. He knows if you thought you're gonna think of that. He knows what I'm gonna say next and I don't know what the hell it is myself. So He knows everything. Thirdly of all...last...He never started...and He's never gonna end..can ya dig it?" Now if you were God, would you let a guy like that go around describing you? I'd have some kind of a run off I think if it were that fella.

Because God, first of all, we claim that He is us..and that's, uh, probably the best way to get at it, ok? Most of the major religions have said, "Love your God, love your neighbor, love yourself" and without saying it, they meant, "because basically it's the same guy!" And we don't get that part; we learn later a bit if we do at all. And it's true, it's nice, "Hey guys, I'm God.." It's not an official thing...that you buy and you get a stamp or a medal or a thing. But it's something that ya kinda carry with us.."sure man, (moment of stoned babble)"...flowers, of course."

Even if you don't tell a truck driver right out that he's a flower, he's a tree and you're him, you know that he could buy it if someone else told him. Not to put truck drivers down. But I did hear an ad for a 'semi truck driver' once. And I don't know what that is. Maybe it's a guy that finishes half the course. Could be a little guy- "(squeaky voice:) Hey, guys, hey!" So if God is you and me and we're God...he's not perfect...'cause we're pretty far from it. And how can He be perfect? He's not. It shows in His work. Yes, right. Take a look at a mountain range. Every mountain different. Different height; different shape. Leaves are all different. He can't get two fingerprints the same, man. He's had a billion years to work on that! Can't even get- give one person two thumbs the same.

And everything He makes...dies. Awww.. So He can slow down..He's only third in command. The guy we think of as God- third in command. He's the Western Marketing Manager. That's all. The real God is too busy! Are you kidding; He's throwing gasballs around the firmament! "Don't worry about 'Earth', man. Whompppp! What is it, a planet? Oh, wow..Whop-p-p-p-p-p. Earth, right? I betcha it's Sunday..my one day off, they all crowd into church ('praying' babble)..day off, my ass!"

So, He's a cool guy. Remember, religion is in your heart and God is in the bushes. That's the main thing. It's like the caterpillar builds the cocoon and the butterfly gets all the reviews.
(Stavro Arrgolus)
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Current Rating 8.1 (1 vote)
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