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Song Details
Duration: 2:19 (oddaustin) 
Release Date: 8/15/2009  (oddaustin) 
Lyrics By: Ian Bonds (oddaustin) 
Music By: John Lennon/Paul McCartney (peterpuck9) 
Produced By:
Released By: Idolize W.A.Y. Recordings (peterpuck9) 
Published By:
  • "House!" entered the "20 club" (where a song has been on the charts for 20 weeks) on the DT20 on January 8, 2010. It lasted a whopping 27 weeks in total. (stacala83)
  • "House!" was #1 on the DT20 two weeks in a row. (stacala83)
  • Parody of "Help!" by the Beatles referring to the irascible TV doctor played by Hugh Laurie. (peterpuck9)
  • World premiered on Bofore Radio (oddaustin)
  • Song Lyrics:
    "House!" parody of "Help!" (Lennon, McCartney). New lyrics by I. Bonds

    I need a doctor
    Not just any doctor.
    Y'know I need ya doc.

    When I'm feelin' like I've got some rare disease
    I take a day to make my way to southern New Jersey
    I need a doc like Sherlock Holmes of medicine
    And maybe he'll prescribe a pill of his own vicadin

    Help me, Doctor House, this ain't no fun
    And it feels like my left arm just weighs a ton
    Go get Doctor Watson, I mean Wilson
    Won't you please, please heal me?

    I feel my symptoms getting worse now every day
    It's hard to see, it burns to pee, and I shake like Cassius Clay
    And so you go and try new theories 'til I'm cured
    Considering you've tried twelve things I'm glad my butt's insured!

    Help me, Doctor House, I don't feel right
    And I'm starting to wander towards the light
    Perhaps if Cuddy's clothes could be more tight
    That could really heal me.

    And now I understand why you act like a jerk
    You act like scuz just because you're committed to your work (soundclip - Stephen Fry: "I'll get your straight jacket"*)
    Foreman, Taub and Thirteen help you to get by
    But I would scream if you and your team got it right on the first try!

    Help me, Doctor House, I'm feelin' drastic
    My hair is fallin' out and I taste plastic
    Perhaps if you weren't so God Damned sarcastic
    You could maybe heal me
    Heal Me
    Heal Me...ooooh...cough, cough, hack.

    (c) 2009 Idolize W.A.Y. recordings/Ian Bonds. All Rights Reserved.
    *From "A Bit of Fry and Laurie" Season Two.

    Lyrics courtesy of
    Current Rating 8.2 (4 votes)
    Song Images:
    Messages about the song: "House!"
    Insane Ian   Offline  -  Artist  -  08-25-09 11:59 AM  -  14 years ago
    Thanks, sir! ^_^

    Pure awesome.
    weirdojace   Offline  -  Artist & D.J.  -  08-18-09 12:00 AM  -  14 years ago
    Pure awesome.
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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