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Words and music: SG and Karly Driftwood Vocal: Karly Driftwood Guitars, bass, drums, mandolin, pedal steel guitar, piano, keys, backup vocals, production, arrangement: SG
I was doing some dumpster diving When I heard the couple across the way fighting I ducked down so they wouldn’t know I heard When apparently she got the last word I think she stabbed him!
She tagged him and bagged him and dragged him outside Heaved him in the dumpster to gather flies Now with all the slim jims and bottles of brew Suddenly this dumpster had seating for two
He was dead, and I held his hand Couldn’t believe she walked away from this perfect man I’d been single for so long and dammit, this was my chance
He ain’t breathin’, but he’s all mine Room for improvement, but otherwise he's fine She got the best years of his life, and I got eternity No he ain’t breathin’, but he’s everything to me
I make him dinner, he’s never late He loves my cooking, though he can’t masticate That’s a fancy word for chewing, which he ain’t really doing Cause his face is stuck Eat them taters baby… open up for the airplane!
He’s my snuggle buddy, we hold cold hands As we watch Frozen over and over again My parents hate him, they blow up my phone But he's my stinky dinky, they tell me let it go, let it go
He ain’t breathin’, but he’s all mine Room for improvement, but otherwise he's fine He’ll never knock me up, he’ll never lie or cheat No he ain’t breathin’, it's better than a vasectomy
The only good guy is a dead guy That’s what Nana would always say Who could be more loyal, than a guy who’s passed away
We like BDSM, he’s so into submission And these days I get to pick every position Our love is so uncommon, now I’m studying embalmin’ Now when we do it, who gets to inject who with fluids?
Like magic he’s always ready to go, abracadabra He should be the poster boy for viagara The neighbors might complain about the noise and report us But there’s no little pill that keeps you stiff like, rigor mortis If your erection lasts more than four years, consult your mortician
He ain’t breathin’, but he’s all mine Room for improvement, but otherwise he's fine She got the best years of his life, and I got eternity No he ain’t breathin’, but he’s everything to me He's my expiration date No he ain’t breathin’, OMG! RIP! Necrophilia's only a felony in seventeen states, right? (Captain Wayne) |
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