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| Facts: |
| The lyrics below are from the album version which contains the 'hair piece' poem and the routine that surrounds it. (Stavro Arrgolus) |
| The poem "The Hair Piece", from the "FM & AM" album, is printed on the interior of the fold-out record sleeve of Carlin's "Class Clown" LP (Stavro Arrgolus) |
| Web pages about this song: |
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| Song Lyrics: |
One of the things that occurred when I began to uh, y'know, feel some changes happening to me...naturally, I was kinda still entertaining in gin joints, y'know- I realize they sell gin here, but it's really not the same as middle-class nightclubs where I spent like a lotta years and it was weird to start having hair and start having a beard and to come out, y'know, to all these folks- lotta Shriners and hookers and salesmen..which are the same as hookers, really, if you get right down to it. Uh, it was just strange. I had to find a way to break the ice. I told them a poem. I told them about my hair.
I'm aware some stare at my hair
In fact, to be fair
some really despair of my hair
But I don't care
'cause they're not aware
nor are they debonair
In fact, they're just square
They see hair down to there
say "beware" and go off on a tear
I say "No fair"
A head that's bare is really nowhere
So be like a bear
Be fair with your hair
Show it you care
Wear it to there, or to there,
or to THERE if you dare
My wife bought some hair at a fair
to use as a spare
Did I care? Au contraire!
Spare hair is fair
In fact, hair can be rare
Fred Astaire got no hair
nor does a chair
or a chocolate eclair
And where is the hair on a pear?
Nowhere, mon frere
Now that I've shared this affair of the hair
I think I'll repair to my lair
and use Nair, do you care?
Here's my beard
Ain't it weird?
Don't be sceered
's just a beard
That's the thing. The word 'beard' shook a lot of people up. BEARD! It's not American sounding. BEARD! Lenin had a BEARD! Gabby Hayes had 'whiskers'. Monty Woolley had whiskers. Yeah. Well anyway, I mention hair because I've only had extra hair for about a year now and uh, actually, it's the same hair I always had. It just used to be on the inside. I'm wearing it in a new location, that's all. And I've found there are some advantages to longer hair. For one thing, it covers the pimples on your neck. One of the disadvantages of longer hair- a lot of people think you're a Commie *** junkie. And it's tough to talk them out of three things at once. What would a Commie *** junkie sound like, y'know? (does 'Commie *** junkie' impression) Workers of the world, unite...
(Stavro Arrgolus) |
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Current Rating
9.7
(5 votes)
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| Played on 36 shows: |
 | 09-28-19, #AOTA-190928 |  | 07-14-96, #96-28 |
| 12-10-16, #KMCC-11-07 | | 05-19-96, #96-20 |
| 11-26-16, #KMCC-11-06 | | 10-08-95, #95-41 |
| 05-17-14, #ISGD-14-26 | | 05-09-93, #93-19 |
| 09-14-13, #AOTA-130914 | | 01-17-93, #93-03 |
| 02-28-13, #ISGD-13-09 | | 10-06-91, #91-40 |
| 02-07-12, #BWR-12-02-07 | | 07-08-90, #90-27 |
| 06-18-11, #MMCZ-11-25 | | 11-12-89, #89-46 |
| 02-26-11, #11-09 | | 01-08-89, #89-02 |
| 07-19-09, #09-29 | | 02-23-86, #86-08 |
| 07-06-08, #08-27 | | 02-23-86, #KMET-86-08 |
| 04-17-05, #XM-99 | | 09-01-85, #85-35 |
| 03-20-05, #05-12 | | 03-10-85, #85-10 |
| 05-19-04, #KMCC_1-12 | | 06-17-84, #84-25 |
| 02-01-04, #04-05 | | 01-03-82, #82-01 |
| 01-06-02, #02-01 | | 05-31-81, #81-22 |
| 08-13-00, #00-33 | | 03-15-81, #81-11 |
| 03-14-99, #99-11 | | 03-15-81, #KMET-81-11 |
| = Show you can listen to online |
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fiogf49gjkf0d Yes, that's it. Thanks. I'd never have worked it out. Damn nerve deafness.
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fiogf49gjkf0d Carlin, in the hair song piece, says, "Workers of the World, Unite!", from Marx's Communist Manifesto. He says it with a lisp and with a stoned tonality, to represent the three groups.
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fiogf49gjkf0d What the hell did he say?! Could never quite work out the last line of this bit. What the line sounds like makes no sense. I'm going to continue to call the line unintelligible until I find out.
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Message:
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended
to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before
they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted
under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The
ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.
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