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Song Details
Duration: 2:59 
Release Date: 2004  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: Steve Goodie (DJ Particle) 
Music By: M. Jagger, K. Richards (DJ Particle) 
Produced By:
Released By:
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  • Mad Music Dementia Top 20 - #1 track of 2004 (DJ Particle)
  • Parody of "Shattered" by The Rolling Stones (czwrefsteven)
  • Song Lyrics:
    Remind me to explain to you the concept of the human ego.
    Kirk here.
    Do you have any idea the ribbing I've had to endure?

    Andy, Opie, and Martin Sheen are
    still surviving on the screen
    and look at me
    I'm in tatters, but I'm Shatner
    That's right, Bill Shatner

    My acting is alarming, my agent took up farming
    My life is just a flock of Trekkies on the street
    Conventions, people dressed in Klingon drag
    Ga-roupies, Shatner
    Collecting autographs, I wanna slash 'em, I'm Shatner
    Ga-roupies, Shatner

    Phasers and transporter beams, and me and me and me and me
    Look at me, I'm Shatner! Hey!

    I'm just getting fatter, bitter, sadder, critics flatter
    That Patrick Patrick Patrick Stewart
    and I can't give it away on Pay-per-view
    Big loser, Shatner
    I'm going down the ladder, uh huhh, but I'm Shatner
    Big loser, Shatner

    Kirk needs work and love and sex
    He needs a girl with big green breasts
    green breasts green breasts green breasts
    Don't it matter, hey, that I'm Shatner?
    Don't it matter

    Intruder alert!
    James Kirk.
    I like that name.
    Good. I like yours too. I like you. I wouldn't lie to you.
    Ah, Mr. Scott, you old space dog.
    I'd still like a Vulcan.
    Nurse me.
    Jim, what the hell kind of strategy is this?
    Dammit, Bones; I need you badly!
    Thrusters ahead.
    Engineer, we need warp speed now.
    Galloping around the cosmos is a game for the young.
    Only use it for medicinal purposes.
    You must learn to govern your passions. They will be your undoing.
    Do it!

    Ahhh, look at me, I'm Shatner, I'm a...

    PriceLine bought me some success; bite me, Nimoy I'm the best
    I'm their boy, the end, the means, still surviving on, repeats
    And look at me! I'm Shatner! Yeah...
    Feed me batter, what does it matter
    Combo platter
    Sh-moozing, Shatner, Shatner

    Don't you know my hairline's going...up up up up up
    Sh-moozing, Shatner
    I work in this town though I'm a
    shmuck shmuck shmuck shmuck shmuck shmuck shmuck
    Sh-moozing, Shatner
    Sh-moozing, Shatner, Shatner
    I got a flat on the west side, condo uptown
    Sh-moozing, Shatner
    What a mensch, a Tribble-trapper, I'm Shatner
    Sh-moozing, Shatner
    Almost won an Oscar, for bad toupee and bad actin'
    Sh-moozing, Shatner
    Big loser, Shatner

    Canadian... Jew...
    Big loser, Shatner
    Eh? Oy... Eh? Oy...
    Big loser, Shatner

    Kirk out... Kirk out... (No, no...) Kirk out... Sorry Gene... Kirk out...

    ©2004 Steve Goodie, Angel Jenkins, Dave Smith, Mick Jagger and Keith Richards ASCAP
    (Stavro Arrgolus)
    Current Rating 9.3 (5 votes)
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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