Last Will And Temperament by The Frantics

Song Details

Last Will And Temperament
By: The Frantics

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Duration:	3:15
Release Date:	1984 (peterpuck9)
Lyrics By:	The Frantics (peterpuck9)
Music By:	The Frantics (peterpuck9)
Produced By:	libby (Libertyeyes)
Released By:	CBC (CAN) (peterpuck9)
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Song Lyrics:

EXECUTOR: As the executor of Mr. Muldoon's estate,
I have been empowered to read Mr. Muldoon's Last Will
And Testament.

HEDGE: Well, get on with it, the bars open soon.

JENNY: Oh, poor, dear Arthur! Waaaa!

HANK: Oh, there, there, Jenny.

RALSTON: God, how predictably boring.

MRS. MULROY: I never worked for a kinder man.

EXECUTOR: If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading.

RALSTON: I knew it.

HEDGE: Heh heh heh heh.

EXECUTOR: "I, Arthur Durham Muldoon, being of sound mind and body..."

HEDGE: That's a laugh!

EXECUTOR: "...do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows.
To my overly emotional sister, Jenny..."

JENNY: Waaaa!

HANK: Jenny, darling, he's talking about us.

JENNY: Oh.

EXECUTOR: "...who grubbed with her husband, Hank, grubbed
for everything they could get from me, and then cried crocodile
tears when I needed sympathy..."

JENNY: What?

EXECUTOR: "...To Jenny, I leave a boot to the head."

JENNY: A what?

*BONK!*

JENNY: Ow!

HANK: Jenny, are you okay?

EXECUTOR: "...and another boot to her wimpy husband, Hank."

*BONK!*

HANK: Ow!

HEDGE: Hahahahaha...

JENNY: This is an outrage!

EXECUTOR: "...ah, but still, you are my sister, you have
both admired my Rolls Royce, and since I no longer need it..."

JENNY: Oh, dear Arthur, he's too kind!

HANK: Yes.

EXECUTOR: "...I bequeath another boot to the head."

JENNY: What?

*BONK!*

JENNY: Ow!

HEDGE: Hahahaha...

EXECUTOR: "And one more for the wimp."

*BONK!*

HANK: Ow!

EXECUTOR: "Next, to my alcoholic brother..."

HEDGE: Hey, I don't want no boot to the head!

EXECUTOR: "...to dear Hedge, who has never worked a day
in his drunken life..."

HEDGE: I'm coverin' up my head!

EXECUTOR: "...I leave my wine cellar and three crates
of my finest whiskey."

HEDGE: Really?

EXECUTOR: "And a boot to the head."

*BONK!*

HEDGE: OH!

EXECUTOR: "And another for Jenny and the wimp."

*BONK!*

JENNY: Oh!

*BONK!*

HANK: Ow!

EXECUTOR: "Next, to my know-it-all nephew, Ralston..."

RALSTON: This is so predictable...

EXECUTOR: "...I leave a boot to the head."

*BONK!*

RALSTON: Uh! I knew it.

EXECUTOR: "And one for Jenny and the wimp."

*BONK!*

JENNY: Ah!

*BONK!*

HANK: OH!

EXECUTOR: "This takes care of family obligations.
And now, to Mrs. Mulroy..."

MRS. MULROY: Oh, uh, I don't want nothin'.

EXECUTOR: "...who took care of me faithfully these many,
many years, who cared, made me laugh, brought me tea..."

MRS. MULROY: Oh, I didn't mind.

EXECUTOR: "To Mrs. Mulroy, I bequeath a boot to the head."

*BONK!*

MRS. MULROY: OH!

EXECUTOR: "And one for Jenny and the wimp."

*BONK!*

JENNY: AH!

*BONK!*

HANK: OH!

EXECUTOR: "And so, to my cat Mittens, I leave
my entire vast...boot to the head!"

*BONK!*

*MEOW!*

EXECUTOR: "And finally, to my lawyer, who has helped me
on this will, I leave not a boot to the head...but a rabid
Tasmanian devil, to be placed in his trousers?!" Ooohhh!!
Oh, huh huh huh huh, and, and, "...and I leave my entire
estate of ten million dollars to the people of Calgary so they can
afford to move somewhere decent!" Huh.

HANK: Is that it?

RALSTON: That's it?

HEDGE: That's disgraceful.

EXECUTOR: There's one last thing for everyone.

HEDGE: Cover your heads, everybody!

EXECUTOR: "I leave everyone a lifetime supply of ice cream."

HANK: Ice cream?

HEDGE: Ice cream?

RALSTON: Ice cream, that's all?

EXECUTOR: That's all.

MRS. MULROY: Well, what flavor is it?

EXECUTOR: Boot to the head!

*BONK!* *BONK!* *BONK!* *BONK!*

ALL: OW!

(peterpuck9)

Last Will And Temperament--The Frantics	(View Larger)

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Available on the following albums:
Dr. Dementos 30th Anniversary Collection: Dementia 2000	Frantic Times [Import]
Contact us if you know of another album that contains this song

Played on 116 shows:
	03-11-23, #KMCC-17-14	01-10-93, #93-02
	01-23-21, #KMCC-15-11	03-01-92, #92-09
	06-25-17, #ISGD-17-26	12-29-91, #KLSX-91-52
	03-04-17, #AOTA-170304	11-03-91, #91-44
	05-21-16, #16-21	07-28-91, #91-30
	06-09-12, #AOTA-120609	06-16-91, #91-24
	07-09-11, #11-28	03-31-91, #91-13
	12-06-08, #MMCZ_0162	12-30-90, #KLSX-90-52
	09-21-08, #MMS-116	08-19-90, #90-33
	09-18-07, #MMS-93	03-04-90, #90-09
	08-31-07, #MMDT20_07-34	10-15-89, #89-42
	07-20-07, #MMDT20_07-28	06-25-89, #89-26
	04-15-07, #07-15	02-26-89, #89-09
	03-25-07, #07-12	01-01-89, #89-01
	10-23-06, #MM-79	01-01-89, #KLSX-89-01
	08-06-06, #06-32	10-23-88, #88-43
	04-30-06, #MMS-25	08-07-88, #88-32
	12-31-05, #ROTP_071	05-15-88, #88-20
	02-06-05, #05-06	02-28-88, #88-09
	08-08-04, #XM-63	01-24-88, #88-04
	07-11-04, #04-28	12-27-87, #KLSX-87-52
	09-29-03, #ISGD-03-36	12-27-87, #87-52
	09-08-03, #ISGD-03-33	11-22-87, #87-47
	01-13-02, #02-02	08-02-87, #87-31
	09-23-01, #01-38	05-03-87, #87-18
	06-03-01, #01-22	01-25-87, #87-04
	01-14-01, #01-02	12-28-86, #KMET-86-52
	09-10-00, #00-37	12-28-86, #86-52
	06-11-00, #00-24	12-07-86, #86-49
	03-12-00, #00-11	11-02-86, #KMET-86-44
	12-26-99, #99-52	10-05-86, #86-40
	10-10-99, #99-41	09-14-86, #KMET-86-37
	07-18-99, #99-29	08-31-86, #86-35
	04-25-99, #99-17	08-10-86, #KMET-86-32
	08-23-98, #98-34	07-13-86, #KMET-86-28
	06-28-98, #98-26	07-13-86, #86-28
	04-05-98, #98-14	06-29-86, #KMET-86-26
	01-18-98, #98-03	06-22-86, #86-25
	12-28-97, #97-52	06-22-86, #KMET-86-25
	10-12-97, #97-41	06-08-86, #KMET-86-23
	06-29-97, #97-26	06-01-86, #KMET-86-22
	06-08-97, #97-23	04-13-86, #KMET-86-15
	12-29-96, #KSCA-96-52	02-02-86, #86-05
	12-29-96, #96-52	12-29-85, #85-52
	11-17-96, #96-46	12-01-85, #85-48
	07-14-96, #96-28	10-06-85, #85-40
	07-07-96, #96-27	10-06-85, #KMET-85-40
	05-26-96, #96-21	09-08-85, #KMET-85-36
	03-03-96, #96-09	09-01-85, #85-35
	10-08-95, #95-41	08-11-85, #KMET-85-32
	06-25-95, #95-26	08-04-85, #85-31
	06-18-95, #95-25	07-28-85, #85-30
	03-19-95, #95-12	07-14-85, #85-28
	09-25-94, #94-39	07-07-85, #KMET-85-27
	04-24-94, #94-17	06-30-85, #85-26
	11-14-93, #93-46	06-09-85, #85-23
	07-18-93, #93-29	05-26-85, #85-21
	05-16-93, #93-20	03-24-85, #85-12
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Messages about the song: "Last Will And Temperament"

	BlazeStryker Offline - Member - 04-07-05 02:00 AM - 19 years ago
	fiogf49gjkf0d What is there to say about Last Will that hasn't been already? Maybe only this; Anybody just coming off simplistic fare loaded with plotline cliches riding into THIS thing will be emotionally scarred for life--and SHOULD be! That about sums it up. grin

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