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Song Details
Duration: 3:15 
Release Date: 1984  (peterpuck9) 
Lyrics By: The Frantics (peterpuck9) 
Music By: The Frantics (peterpuck9) 
Produced By: libby (Libertyeyes) 
Released By: CBC (CAN) (peterpuck9) 
Published By:
Licensing:
Keywords:
Reviews:
Facts:
Song Lyrics:
EXECUTOR: As the executor of Mr. Muldoon's estate,
I have been empowered to read Mr. Muldoon's Last Will
And Testament.

HEDGE: Well, get on with it, the bars open soon.

JENNY: Oh, poor, dear Arthur! Waaaa!

HANK: Oh, there, there, Jenny.

RALSTON: God, how predictably boring.

MRS. MULROY: I never worked for a kinder man.

EXECUTOR: If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading.

RALSTON: I knew it.

HEDGE: Heh heh heh heh.

EXECUTOR: "I, Arthur Durham Muldoon, being of sound mind and body..."

HEDGE: That's a laugh!

EXECUTOR: "...do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows.
To my overly emotional sister, Jenny..."

JENNY: Waaaa!

HANK: Jenny, darling, he's talking about us.

JENNY: Oh.

EXECUTOR: "...who grubbed with her husband, Hank, grubbed
for everything they could get from me, and then cried crocodile
tears when I needed sympathy..."

JENNY: What?

EXECUTOR: "...To Jenny, I leave a boot to the head."

JENNY: A what?

*BONK!*

JENNY: Ow!

HANK: Jenny, are you okay?

EXECUTOR: "...and another boot to her wimpy husband, Hank."

*BONK!*

HANK: Ow!

HEDGE: Hahahahaha...

JENNY: This is an outrage!

EXECUTOR: "...ah, but still, you are my sister, you have
both admired my Rolls Royce, and since I no longer need it..."

JENNY: Oh, dear Arthur, he's too kind!

HANK: Yes.

EXECUTOR: "...I bequeath another boot to the head."

JENNY: What?

*BONK!*

JENNY: Ow!

HEDGE: Hahahaha...

EXECUTOR: "And one more for the wimp."

*BONK!*

HANK: Ow!

EXECUTOR: "Next, to my alcoholic brother..."

HEDGE: Hey, I don't want no boot to the head!

EXECUTOR: "...to dear Hedge, who has never worked a day
in his drunken life..."

HEDGE: I'm coverin' up my head!

EXECUTOR: "...I leave my wine cellar and three crates
of my finest whiskey."

HEDGE: Really?

EXECUTOR: "And a boot to the head."

*BONK!*

HEDGE: OH!

EXECUTOR: "And another for Jenny and the wimp."

*BONK!*

JENNY: Oh!

*BONK!*

HANK: Ow!

EXECUTOR: "Next, to my know-it-all nephew, Ralston..."

RALSTON: This is so predictable...

EXECUTOR: "...I leave a boot to the head."

*BONK!*

RALSTON: Uh! I knew it.

EXECUTOR: "And one for Jenny and the wimp."

*BONK!*

JENNY: Ah!

*BONK!*

HANK: OH!

EXECUTOR: "This takes care of family obligations.
And now, to Mrs. Mulroy..."

MRS. MULROY: Oh, uh, I don't want nothin'.

EXECUTOR: "...who took care of me faithfully these many,
many years, who cared, made me laugh, brought me tea..."

MRS. MULROY: Oh, I didn't mind.

EXECUTOR: "To Mrs. Mulroy, I bequeath a boot to the head."

*BONK!*

MRS. MULROY: OH!

EXECUTOR: "And one for Jenny and the wimp."

*BONK!*

JENNY: AH!

*BONK!*

HANK: OH!

EXECUTOR: "And so, to my cat Mittens, I leave
my entire vast...boot to the head!"

*BONK!*

*MEOW!*

EXECUTOR: "And finally, to my lawyer, who has helped me
on this will, I leave not a boot to the head...but a rabid
Tasmanian devil, to be placed in his trousers?!" Ooohhh!!
Oh, huh huh huh huh, and, and, "...and I leave my entire
estate of ten million dollars to the people of Calgary so they can
afford to move somewhere decent!" Huh.

HANK: Is that it?

RALSTON: That's it?

HEDGE: That's disgraceful.

EXECUTOR: There's one last thing for everyone.

HEDGE: Cover your heads, everybody!

EXECUTOR: "I leave everyone a lifetime supply of ice cream."

HANK: Ice cream?

HEDGE: Ice cream?

RALSTON: Ice cream, that's all?

EXECUTOR: That's all.

MRS. MULROY: Well, what flavor is it?

EXECUTOR: Boot to the head!

*BONK!* *BONK!* *BONK!* *BONK!*

ALL: OW!

(peterpuck9)
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Current Rating 8.8 (4 votes)
Played on 115 shows:
01-23-21, #KMCC-15-1103-01-92, #92-09
06-25-17, #ISGD-17-2612-29-91, #KLSX-91-52
03-04-17, #AOTA-17030411-03-91, #91-44
05-21-16, #16-2107-28-91, #91-30
06-09-12, #AOTA-12060906-16-91, #91-24
07-09-11, #11-2803-31-91, #91-13
12-06-08, #MMCZ_016212-30-90, #KLSX-90-52
09-21-08, #MMS-11608-19-90, #90-33
09-18-07, #MMS-9303-04-90, #90-09
08-31-07, #MMDT20_07-3410-15-89, #89-42
07-20-07, #MMDT20_07-2806-25-89, #89-26
04-15-07, #07-1502-26-89, #89-09
03-25-07, #07-1201-01-89, #89-01
10-23-06, #MM-7901-01-89, #KLSX-89-01
08-06-06, #06-3210-23-88, #88-43
04-30-06, #MMS-2508-07-88, #88-32
12-31-05, #ROTP_07105-15-88, #88-20
02-06-05, #05-0602-28-88, #88-09
08-08-04, #XM-6301-24-88, #88-04
07-11-04, #04-2812-27-87, #87-52
09-29-03, #ISGD-03-3612-27-87, #KLSX-87-52
09-08-03, #ISGD-03-3311-22-87, #87-47
01-13-02, #02-0208-02-87, #87-31
09-23-01, #01-3805-03-87, #87-18
06-03-01, #01-2201-25-87, #87-04
01-14-01, #01-0212-28-86, #86-52
09-10-00, #00-3712-28-86, #KMET-86-52
06-11-00, #00-2412-07-86, #86-49
03-12-00, #00-1111-02-86, #KMET-86-44
12-26-99, #99-5210-05-86, #86-40
10-10-99, #99-4109-14-86, #KMET-86-37
07-18-99, #99-2908-31-86, #86-35
04-25-99, #99-1708-10-86, #KMET-86-32
08-23-98, #98-3407-13-86, #86-28
06-28-98, #98-2607-13-86, #KMET-86-28
04-05-98, #98-1406-29-86, #KMET-86-26
01-18-98, #98-0306-22-86, #86-25
12-28-97, #97-5206-22-86, #KMET-86-25
10-12-97, #97-4106-08-86, #KMET-86-23
06-29-97, #97-2606-01-86, #KMET-86-22
06-08-97, #97-2304-13-86, #KMET-86-15
12-29-96, #KSCA-96-5202-02-86, #86-05
12-29-96, #96-5212-29-85, #85-52
11-17-96, #96-4612-01-85, #85-48
07-14-96, #96-2810-06-85, #85-40
07-07-96, #96-2710-06-85, #KMET-85-40
05-26-96, #96-2109-08-85, #KMET-85-36
03-03-96, #96-0909-01-85, #85-35
10-08-95, #95-4108-11-85, #KMET-85-32
06-25-95, #95-2608-04-85, #85-31
06-18-95, #95-2507-28-85, #85-30
03-19-95, #95-1207-14-85, #85-28
09-25-94, #94-3907-07-85, #KMET-85-27
04-24-94, #94-1706-30-85, #85-26
11-14-93, #93-4606-09-85, #85-23
07-18-93, #93-2905-26-85, #85-21
05-16-93, #93-2003-24-85, #85-12
01-10-93, #93-02
= Show you can listen to online
Song Images:
Messages about the song: "Last Will And Temperament"
 
 
BlazeStryker   Offline  -  Member  -  04-07-05 02:00 AM  -  16 years ago
fiogf49gjkf0d
What is there to say about Last Will that hasn't been already? Maybe only this;

Anybody just coming off simplistic fare loaded with plotline cliches riding into THIS thing will be emotionally scarred for life--and SHOULD be!

That about sums it up. *grin*
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