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Song Details
Rank this week: 9 (↑19)
Duration: 3:24 
Release Date: 1981  (peterpuck9) 
Lyrics By: Dave Nuttycombe & Pat Carroll (peterpuck9) 
Music By: Dave Nuttycombe & Pat Carroll (peterpuck9) 
Produced By: Rich West (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Used (peterpuck9) 
Published By: The Travesty Group, Inc. (P_Gunn) 
Keywords: DOCTOR 
  • There was a version mentioning gong to a Zeppelin concert and another substituting Aerosmith for some reason, perhaps after the death of John Bonham (SocietysPliers)
  • Group is from Wasington D.C. (czwrefsteven)
  • From the 1981 album TEEN COMEDY PARTY. (sav-man)
  • All-time Dr. Demento show classic. Wicked satire of Rock culture cliches. (sav-man)
  • Song Lyrics:
    Chorus: Prescribing your pleasure from dusk till dawn
    Chorus: Rock and Roll Doctor is always on.

    RRD: OK, Rock And Roll Doctor, you're on the air.

    Caller 1: [heavy echo] Hello?Hello?

    RRD: Yeah. You wanna turn your radio down sir?

    Caller 1: Hello?Hello? Louder?Louder?

    RRD: Turn your radio *down*, please.

    Caller 1: Yeah, I - I'm goin' to the Aerosmith concert, man, and I was wondering what kind of drugs I should take.

    RRD: OK, Aerosmith, that's heavy metal. Ah, you're gonna want to stay away from stimulants, they react negatively with the high decibels. When those guitars start feeding back, you're going to be clawing your face off. I'd suggest rather a mild depressant: beer, maybe some Quaaludes.

    Caller 1: All right, man! Ya got any?

    RRD: No I don't! I'd like to point out right here that the Rock And Roll Doctor does not advocate drugs, it just prescribes them. OK, Rock And Roll Doctor, you're on the air.

    Caller 2: [incoherent yelling, in which the words "Bad trip" are barely discernable. Loud music in background]

    RRD: Are you having a bad trip sir?

    Caller 2: [more incoherent yelling, over which the RRD talks:]

    RRD: Well, you want the Hot Line, this is the Rock And Roll Doctor. [music cuts off] Next, uh, please try to dial carefully, people, OK? It's very important. Rock And Roll Doctor, you're on the air.

    Caller 3: [male goofy voice] Uh, did you see Quadrophenia, man?

    RRD: No, I haven't.

    Caller 3: Oh, you should, man! It's really good. It's got all this Who music in it, man, really good.

    RRD: Yeah, OK. Well, you have a question here?

    Caller 3: Uh right, well, it's about the Mods, you know, they're like early hippies, in England, but they're not hippies, they ride around on Mopeds, you know?

    RRD: You want to get to the point, please.

    Caller 3: Uh, yeah, yeah. Well, the Mods are like always taking these pills, uh, they're called Blues, man. I've never heard of Blues, man. Like, what are these Blues?

    RRD: As far as I'm concerned it's Negro music. Blue is not really a good drug color. I'd suggest you try Reds instead. OK, Rock And Roll Doctor, you're on the air.

    Caller 4: [male nerdy voice] Yes, my sister and I are going to the New, New Christy Minstrels show at the Playhouse tonight, and I was wondering what I should take.

    RRD: A good book. OK, Rock And Roll Doctor, you're on the air.

    Caller 5: [male, southern accent. Same echo as Caller 1] Yah, hello?Yah, hello?

    RRD: Turn your radio down, please.

    Caller 5: Hello?Hello? [ad lib]

    RRD: Turn your radio *down*, sir.

    Caller 5: Oh, yeah!

    RRD: Right, OK, that's better. You have a question, sir?

    Caller 5: Well, I'm goin' to the Nugent concert --

    RRD: Kinda figured.

    Caller 5: And I'm takin' some pot, and some acid, and I'm gonna be taking some coke, and I'm gonna be takin' a couple of quarts of rum . . . [as he's talking, RRD is saying Mm-hm, uh-huh, etc.] I was wondering if there was anything else that I should take.

    RRD: Yeah, an ambulance. Rock And Roll Doctor, you're on the air.

    Caller 6: [female voice, stoned] Uhh, Rock And Roll Doctor?

    RRD: Mm-hm?

    Caller 6: Um, like I had these, um . . . pills? And I took 'em I think . . . uhm . . . like do you know what they were, man?

    RRD: No! No, no I don't.

    Caller 6: Oh well . . . well, I was just wondering. Like . . . [suddenly suspicious] Who is this?

    RRD: This is the Rock And Roll Doctor! Why don't you lie down for a couple days, do us both a favor. You'll feel a whole lot better. People, when you call in, try to have a question in mind, OK? It just makes the show move a whole lot faster. Rock And Roll Doctor, you're on the air.

    Caller 7: [same voice as Caller 5, yelling] Yeah, you had a caller a moment ago, it sounded like my son? Well you tell that lousy punk that if I catch him takin' any more drugs I'll clobber him!

    RRD: OK, OK, you want to calm down sir, you sound a bit upset.

    Caller 7: Well you're damn right I'm upset! I think I got good reason to be upset!

    RRD: OK, well you're on your way to a heart attack, sir, or an ulcer at the very least. I'd suggest you take a couple Valium and relax.

    Caller 7: I don't have any Valium!

    RRD: Well, just stay on the line, I'll get your name and I'll send you a prescription, OK?

    Caller 7: [suddenly happy] Yeah? He-hey! Thanks!

    RRD: OK, no problem. Rock And Roll Doctor, you're on the air.

    Caller 8: [female voice, possibly the same as Caller 6, very musical:] Hello-o-o!!

    RRD: Goodbye. Rock And Roll Doctor, you're on the air.

    Caller 9: Yeah, this is Detective Johnson of the Drug Enforcement Agency, "Doc-tor". Perhaps you'd like --

    RRD: OK, that's just about all the time we have for calls right now, we're gonna break, take a word from our sponsor, and be back with Timothy Leary.


    [transcriber's note: Yes, I know DEA is an Administration, not an Agency. Apparently they didn't...]

    Rock & Roll Doctor(View Larger)

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    Current Rating 9.3 (6 votes)
    Played on 88 shows:
    09-22-18, #AOTA-18092203-05-95, #95-10
    04-21-18, #AOTA-18042110-10-93, #93-41
    10-11-14, #ISGD-14-5505-05-91, #91-18
    09-06-14, #14-3608-24-86, #KMET-86-34
    07-01-14, #BWR-14-07-0105-18-86, #86-20
    03-29-14, #14-1304-06-86, #KMET-86-14
    03-08-14, #AOTA-14030801-12-86, #86-02
    08-20-13, #BWR-13-08-2009-15-85, #85-37
    04-20-13, #AOTA-13042006-23-85, #KMET-85-25
    09-07-12, #MMDT20_12-3606-16-85, #KMET-85-24
    07-17-12, #BWR-12-07-1704-14-85, #85-15
    06-16-12, #12-2403-24-85, #85-12
    02-25-12, #AOTA-12022501-06-85, #85-01
    07-09-11, #AOTA-11070912-30-84, #84-53
    07-05-11, #BWR-11-07-0512-16-84, #84-51
    04-02-11, #AOTA-11040210-21-84, #84-43
    03-05-11, #11-1008-12-84, #84-33
    02-19-11, #11-0806-24-84, #84-26
    10-16-10, #10-4205-06-84, #84-19
    09-04-10, #MMCZ-10-3603-11-84, #84-11
    09-27-09, #09-3901-22-84, #84-04
    07-11-09, #ROTP_25501-01-84, #84-01
    11-04-07, #07-4411-13-83, #83-46
    09-22-07, #ROTP_16109-25-83, #83-39
    04-14-07, #ROTP_13808-28-83, #83-35
    10-08-06, #06-4107-24-83, #83-30
    09-17-06, #MMS-4507-03-83, #83-27
    04-16-06, #MMS-2306-19-83, #83-25
    09-11-05, #05-3706-12-83, #83-24
    10-03-04, #XM-7105-01-83, #83-18
    08-15-04, #04-3303-06-83, #83-10
    04-13-03, #03-1502-06-83, #83-06
    01-13-02, #02-0202-07-82, #82-06
    06-24-01, #01-2512-27-81, #81-52
    03-05-00, #00-1011-29-81, #81-48
    06-27-99, #99-2611-22-81, #81-47
    09-27-98, #98-3911-15-81, #81-46
    05-10-98, #98-1911-08-81, #81-45
    01-11-98, #98-0210-04-81, #81-40
    09-21-97, #97-3808-30-81, #81-35
    06-15-97, #97-2407-26-81, #81-30
    02-25-96, #96-0805-03-81, #81-18
    05-28-95, #95-2204-05-81, #81-14
    05-21-95, #95-2103-22-81, #81-12
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